• Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
  • Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
  • Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
  • Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
  • Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
  • Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
  • An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
  • A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
  • Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
  • An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
  • A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
  • Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
  • An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
  • Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
  • Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
  • Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
  • Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
  • Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
  • A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
  • A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
  • Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
  • PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
  • Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
  • Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
  • Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
  • Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
  • Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
  • An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
  • Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
  • Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
  • Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
  • Tom Hiddleston: You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
  • Thranduil: You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
  • Dwarves: You had two cows but now they're on fire.
  • Bilbo Baggins: You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
  • Cows: The shit you go through.
  • This post: Started off as a post that explained different governments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
  • Achievement Hunter: You have one cow and he gets put in a hole.
  • Captain America: You have two cows, one is brainwashed and the other falls out of plane. The first jumps out after him. Everyone cries a lot.
  • Hannibal Lecter: Doesn't have any cows, but somehow still has hamburger
  • Will Graham: Rescues 2 cows and 5 more dogs. He now has 13 dogs and 2 cows living on his property. This is his design

3 weeks ago - ♥683527

a discussion on sexual orientation 

  • me: *explaining various sexual orientations to a classmate*
  • classmate: wait, what's polyamory?
  • me: well, it's when someone has more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
  • professor: *overhears from front of class*
  • professor: that is d i s g u s t i n g
  • me: *defensively* um, actually, no it's--
  • professor: how DARE they put a greek prefix on a latin root like that?! What right do they have to decimate my beautiful antiquated languages?!?! GREEK AND LATIN DO NOT FRATERNIZE THIS IS LIKE THAT STUPID ROMANTIC SUBPLOT BETWEEN THAT DWARF AND THAT ELF IN THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!
  • me: ....
  • me: ....
  • me: ....
  • professor: it should be polyerosy

3 weeks ago - ♥134030

tumboy:

50 Cent in Malefiftycent [x]


3 weeks ago - ♥340889
brodieroset:

THIS EXACTLY THIS.

brodieroset:

THIS EXACTLY THIS.

4 weeks ago - ♥197042
kngshxt:

gotitforcheap:

morefunthanb4:

Finally, a donut for MEN!

Oh dude you got some of my bronut all over your face silly! haha heres a Dude Wipe to get it off with

i dont think they thought on this name hard enough. you can’t appeal to the macho male crowd with something as homoerotic as bro nut.

kngshxt:

gotitforcheap:

morefunthanb4:

Finally, a donut for MEN!

Oh dude you got some of my bronut all over your face silly! haha heres a Dude Wipe to get it off with

i dont think they thought on this name hard enough. you can’t appeal to the macho male crowd with something as homoerotic as bro nut.

4 weeks ago - ♥21468

lieutenantducklings:

Killian Jones + the red vest

requested by colinodayum

4 weeks ago - ♥2570

vinebox:

if girls acted towards guys the same way guys act towards girls

http://vinebox.tumblr.com/post/96733882301/if-girls-acted-towards-guys-the-same-way-guys-act vinebox
4 weeks ago - ♥45189

22/09/2014 – Log 1 

jeanne-crowns:

Hello everyone, (but mostly myself) to my writing journal! This blog will have my full attention from now on. Every little thing that pops into my head, every idea or issue I might face will be written down in a single document and published here, on Tumblr.
I’m doing this so I can keep track of myself, mostly. I don’t expect anyone to read any of my ramblings and take them seriously when even I don’t, but this is my attempt at creating some form of order in my (mildly chaotic) mind.
There are some things about myself, about my skills and personality, that I would like to change —and I am determined this time. I’ve found that writing things down gives me a better shot of out-growing them, no matter how bad I think they are. Practice
will make perfect.

I suppose I should start by introducing myself and boring you with my not-so-tragic backstory.

My name is Jeanne Crowns.

Read More

4 weeks ago - ♥1   #writing  #journal  #first post  
stunningpicture:


Me (located in Iceland) and my friend (located in New Zealand) made the biggest sandwich of all time.

stunningpicture:

Me (located in Iceland) and my friend (located in New Zealand) made the biggest sandwich of all time.

4 weeks ago - ♥297357

full-moony-moon:

Fifty fictional characters (in no particular order)

[2/50]

Remus Lupin


baseballandbeerisallineed:

Emma Watson Dancing with Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon you fucking lucky bastard you


4 weeks ago - ♥259005
dduane:

princehal9000:

winstons-and-enochs:

the guardian imagines what historical figures might look like today. my personal favourite is shakespeare, reincarnated as a shoreditch hipster.

but can you imagine how’d he’d sound a loft party? 
“I’m going to subvert the whole, like, narrative ideal by telling you upfront that these two, like, teenagers are going to fall in love and die, and then do it. So there’s no more hiding in the words. Stark, yeah? And then, I think I’ll hide a sonnet in their big scene together, right? It’ll be subversive, because only, you know, people who are up on sonnets will get it…..what? No, she’s thirteen—a little edgy but that’s art, man. Art.”

(snicker)

dduane:

princehal9000:

winstons-and-enochs:

the guardian imagines what historical figures might look like today. my personal favourite is shakespeare, reincarnated as a shoreditch hipster.

but can you imagine how’d he’d sound a loft party? 

“I’m going to subvert the whole, like, narrative ideal by telling you upfront that these two, like, teenagers are going to fall in love and die, and then do it. So there’s no more hiding in the words. Stark, yeah? And then, I think I’ll hide a sonnet in their big scene together, right? It’ll be subversive, because only, you know, people who are up on sonnets will get it…..what? No, she’s thirteen—a little edgy but that’s art, man. Art.”

(snicker)

4 weeks ago - ♥47391

sodomymcscurvylegs:

[AGGRESSIVELY AVOIDS USING HEALING ITEMS TO SAVE THEM FOR BOSS BATTLES.]

[AGGRESSIVELY FORGETS TO USE HEALING ITEMS DURING BOSS BATTLES.]

4 weeks ago - ♥53600

insp (x


4 weeks ago - ♥184398
spiritleaf:

A deer that catches stars in its antlers

spiritleaf:

A deer that catches stars in its antlers

4 weeks ago - ♥61422

The Raven's Nest

Are you ready for some Star-Lovin'?

Belgium, babe.

updates